Fridays, they were thinking and thinking of eating, and not thinking of eating loaves of bread, but thinking of eating candy. They wanted candy. They wanted the sticky sweet. They needed it. A desire like hunger gnawed in their stomachs and stretched across the vast systems of their body. It was in their blood, a pulsating signal.
It must be had.
They tried not thinking of thinking of eating and not thinking of eating the candy. But the candy is what they wanted and they wanted the candy. They could not not think about thinking about eating candy. It was what they wanted to think about. They wanted to think about wanting to think about wanting to eat and wanting to eat candy. It was the candy they wanted.
The sickly sugar would melt in their mouths. It would dissolve into the purest chemical form. It would be absorbed. It would be burned. Oh, how they wanted it to burn. Not burning, but blazing. Not blazing, but obliteration. Burn it down. Down, down, down.
They did not have candy. They wanted it, but did not have it. Where to get it? The candy. They wanted it and did not have it. They needed to obtain it, to own it until it could become a part of them. Until they consumed it and before it consumed them. They wanted to find the candy so they could eat the candy so they could stop thinking about wanting to think about eating the candy.
They found the candy. It was theirs. They were its. Open the mouth, let the tongue feel it. Suck on it. This was the candy that they wanted. This was the candy that they wanted to think about eating. This was the candy that they wanted to eat. Their wish was fulfilled.
For a moment. Then the candy was gone, the sugar gone from the system. To fill the void, desire returned. It returned with a single thought. A thought about candy. They wanted the candy, but it was gone. So they thought about the candy. They were thinking about eating the candy. They were craving candy. Their intent towards candy returned. It was stronger than before.
They needed to find the candy, but the candy was gone. The candy could not be found. They could not find the candy. Who had seen the candy last? They didn’t see the candy. It was gone.
Their veins were burning. Not from the candy which beautifully burned. This burning burned. It tore them down. It gutted them, inside to outside. From here to there, only the skeletons remained, charred. They were charred skeletons. They, charred skeletons, wanted candy. They did not have tongues to eat the candy. A mouth for the candy to rest. A stomach to digest.
They wanted candy. Their bones rattled in rage. Candy. Candy. Candy. They did not have a brain to think about the candy. It was not a thought. Nothing in their bodies could produce such want. They wanted more than bodies want.
They wanted the candy, the candy that consumes.
Kellene O’Hara has been published in The Fourth River, Marathon Literary Review, South Florida Poetry Journal, and elsewhere. Her writing has been nominated for the Best of the Net and the Best Small Fictions. She has an MFA in Creative Writing from The New School. She teaches writing at the University of Mississippi. Find her on Twitter @KelleneOHara, Instagram @KelleneWrites, and online at kelleneohara.com.
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